(My cause, what touches me)
“See dads live in the home with their kids giving them all the tools they need for life.”
(What will the world look like if I had my way)
“Kids will grow up in stable God fearing homes having all the tools they need to live successful lives.”
What’s the Plan to achieve the Mission and Vision for my life:
Show couples God’s purpose for family and marriage so they can build a strong family that stay together.
How will I achieve the plan?
The Imperfect Coupl3
- Create an app that offers marriage tools
- Host marriage retreats/seminars
- Mentor other on how to have a purpose driven marriages
Goals for family
- Put God first
- Commit time to becoming better individuals
- Be examples to our kids and the world
- Become financially independent and debt free
- Develop our kids to be their best
How to reach goals?
- Commit to church and bible study. Set family prayer time.
- Less TV, less social networks. More reading/ audiobooks, internet research
- Live above the world’s standards
“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you” Matthew 6:33
Gibson Family Creed
As a family we vow to be more like Christ each and everyday. We will love each other and be all the support we need. We vow to solve any disagreement in a loving manner. Our family goal is to always make a positive change in a minimum of one family or one person that we come in contact with per month. We will sew a seed whether it is time, money, or other resources.
The Purpose Given From God!
How do we take care of first things first if we don't know what is truly first? The bible says in Psalms 11:3, “If the Foundations are destroyed, what can the righteous do?” Our priority should always be God. It only makes sense if He is where it all began anyway. He is our foundation. If this is your priority, then your day will reflect that.
The husband is the spiritual leader of the home. This means he should take the lead to initiate prayer and going to church as well as meaningful conversations about the Lord. Be sure to exemplify love and worship of God at home and not only in church. You can find biblical example of this as the Jews observed the Sabbath and the Passover at home.
“In the same way, you wives must accept the authority of your husbands, even those who refuse to accept the good News. Your godly lives will speak to them better than any words. They will be won over by watching your pure, godly behavior." (I Pet 3:1-2)
"Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her." Ephesians 5:25
In marriage, do you live your life on purpose in your marriage? We always hear marriage takes work and it does. Be married intentionally; go out of your way to honor your spouse. Don't disrespect them, but rather have unconditional respect for them. If you have disrespected them, simply apologize. Treat them better than you would your boss, your friends and your coworkers. Make them your priority. They will cherish you for it and may even begin making you theirs! This will, in turn, build your relationship.
When conflict arises between spouses and when it is in front of your children, what you say and do to each other will affect generations to come.
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.” - Ephesians 4:29
The third priority is the relationship with your children. I hope you heard me on that. This priority comes AFTER your spouse. Many of us have child centered marriages and that is not what God intended it to look like. Children will gage your love on the time you spend with them. You need both quality and quantity time to build this relationship. Ask yourself after you spend any time with them, "Did I build my relationship with them in that time I just spent?" If the answer is no, then it isn't enough in and of itself. This includes attending sporting events, ballets and school performances. There is so much more than just punching your time card.
Your relationships are based on trust. You need to ask yourself if your children trust you. Have you been true to your word? If not, go back and ask their forgiveness. Have so much humility that it becomes a powerful tool to build your relationship. Men need to be sure to speak their commitment to their family, their marriage and each child. This will give them a sense of peace that is invaluable. Remember how powerful the spoken word is.
We need to remember that Satan hates our families. He is out to bring ruin to your marriage. He is out for the heart of our
Children. The bible tells us that he comes to steal, kill and destroy, but God comes that you may have life and have it more abundantly. Guard against the devil’s schemes by putting Christ first, spouse second, children third. Once you have these three priorities in life, you will find that you have developed a life's message. With that message and your new family, you can change the world!
Ephesians 6:4 says, "Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord."
Your life has a message. For the message to be developed, you will endure trials and suffering. God uses those to build our character and perfect us or make us mature in Christ. When the Bible talks about perfecting our faith or perfecting us, it does not mean that we have attained perfection, but rather it means “maturity”.
You and your family are called to something higher than existence. You have a purpose, everyone does. When the family is in order, the plan can be realized and though the trials can be very difficult, it creates a passion in you to lead others in the paths you have traveled.
"Therefore, since Christ suffered in his body, arm yourselves also with the same attitude, because he who has suffered in his body is done with sin." 1 Peter 4:1
Once your life’s message is deepened, you will see that your ministry or your business will have the influence you want it to in the people around you. God can use your ministry or business when you have proven trustworthy in the more important areas like His relationship with you and your relationship with your family. He is not interested in blessing the socks off of your business when the family He already blessed you with is in jeopardy. So many families today are being destroyed because we haven’t straightened out our priorities. If you are struggling with this, just ask God to help you. He desires to rescue your family. Again, be intentional about your life’s message. What do you want it to say?
Our Family Values
- 1.Intimate relationship with God first
- 2.Marriage before all others
- 3.Parenting on purpose
- 4.Recognizing the unique qualities of each child
- 5.Hard work
- 6.Slow to speak -quick to listen, listen and silent use the same letters
- 7.Personal responsibility
- 8.Male Chivalry
- 9.Marriage = 1 man and 1 woman
- 13.Assisting the persecuted church
- 14.Missions support and participation
- 16.Biblical roles as men and women
- 17.Inner beauty first
- 18.Respectable appearance
- 19.Excellence, not perfection
- 20.Debt free
- 21.Eternally minded
- 22.Siblings before friends
- 23.Parent guided education
- 25.Caring for the underserved
- 26.Leadership through serving others
- 27.Healthy communication
- 28.Acknowledging God in all things
- 29.Christ like
- 30.Family nights
- 31.Family unity
- 32.Courting over dating
- 33.Mentor and be mentored
- 34.Reading life giving books
- 35.Good citizenship/God’s laws first
- 36.Praying family
- 37.Interdependence (family)
- 38.Fiercely loyal
- 39.Defend the Truth
- 40.Bible is the final authoritative word
- 41.Both baptisms
- 42.Financial freedom in order to give and live
- 43.Laugh together
- 44.Build each other up through our words and actions
- 45.Honor family members
- 47.Accountability to one another
- 51.Submissive to godly authority
- 52.Controlled temperament
- 53.Healthy view of intimacy
- 55.Integrity before needs
- 56.Open worship
- 57.Walk humbly
- 58.Defend the defenseless
- 59.Act justly
- 62.Selfless- “You first”
- 67.Controlled tongue
- 73.Lifestyle of learning
- 74.Faith in Jesus Christ
- 75.Passing down our vision/mission
- 76.Make our kids aware
- 79.Likeminded friends
- 80.Disciplined lifestyle
- 82.Slow to anger
- 85.Contentment and joy in all things
- 90.Not a victim, a victor
- 94.Always see the best in people
- 97.Emotionally stable
- 99.Critical thinkers
- 100. Faithful
Our Family Vow means that we are committed to our role as a mother or a father. It means that our family is committed to their roles as big sister or big brother and little sister or little brother. It means that each of us will strive to meet the needs of the family members to build a unified force. When families do not meet each other’s needs, we turn outward to friends, coworkers, drugs/alcohol, and even cults in order have those needs met. We have felt rejection from our own family and are forced outward and we become independent of the family. There needs to be respect for the roles of the parents in order for the child to feel like they want to obey. The responsibility falls on the parents to have a relationship that the children can respect. Growing Kids God's Way is an excellent study on raising children to respect and honor their parents.
Becoming independent of each other does not happen suddenly, but rather it is a drifting that takes place over time and is rarely realized until it is too late. It doesn’t happen to just children, but it also happens with husbands and wives as well. Don't let this happen in our family! Commit to each other that we will do what it takes to put family first above others.
- I will do my best to honor you with my loyalty, my time, and my resources.
- I will courageously defend you and will endeavor to keep your best interests at all times, physically as well as spiritually.
- I will work to keep our relationship strong through loving, respectful, and honest communication as long as we both shall live.
- I will encourage and push you to accomplish all dreams and goals to the best of my abilities
This vow can be said from husband to wife, from wife to husband, from parent to child, from child to parent, and from child to child.
Sibling rivalry 1
Do not accept that sibling rivalry is okay.
Sibling rivalry may be a normal temptation for children, a normal tool the devil uses to bring divisiveness to our families, but it only continues because we let it and because we have believed the lie.
In the bible, God asked Cain where his brother Able was after Cain killed him. Cain responded with, "Am I my brother's keeper?" The answer to that question is YES!
Have you ever noticed the amount of sibling rivalry in the Bible and how it devastated families? To name a few, Cain and Able, Ishmael and Isaac, Jacob and Esau, Leah and Rachel, Joseph and his brothers, David and his brother and the prodigal son and his brother. The twelve tribes of Israel couldn't even live near each other because of the infighting.
We know from the book of James, that our tongue is a "world of wickedness". It can speak life and death. If we do not gain control of that little member of our body, it can send the whole body to hell. Should we not train our children to control their tongue and practice that with our brothers and sisters? How much more important is this relationship over others that we treat with considerable kindness?
I Timothy 4:12 says, "Let no one despise or think less of you because of your youth, but be an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, and in purity."
The bible also tells us that if anyone hates his brother and says he loves God, he is a liar! How can we not love who we have seen and love who we have not seen? If we love God, we will also love our brother.
Sibling rivalry 2
We need to require our children to be kind and respectful of one another, treating each other better than their best friend. The punishment for belittling their siblings must be strong and swift. They must know that this is the law of the house and this crime should not be committed.
Marriage is the only relationship similar to their sibling relationship. If we allow sibling rivalry to continue, we are training them up to be incapable of remaining married. If we want our children to treat their spouses with the utmost respect and honor, they must treat their brother and sister this way. Do not allow them to beat each other up; do not allow harsh words or a belittling tone. This may require some sweat and tears from the parents, but it will be well worth it.
The first-born has a God given influence. When they are old enough to understand this, teach them to use their influence to build up the other siblings. All children expect their parents to compliment them, but when it comes from an older sibling, it means the world to them. In the same way that their influence can greatly affect their sibling for the good, they can also destroy their confidence in a single word. Kids need to be taught how vital it is that they speak life and blessings over their siblings and not badger them or tear them down.
- I will treat my brothers and/or sisters better than I would treat my best friends.
- I will treat my parents better than my favorite teacher or coach.
- I will protect and lay down my life for my brothers/ sisters; I will not step on them or over them to go out and save the world.
- My relationship with my brothers/sisters is a major priority, secondary only to my relationship with Jesus.
- I will choose to resolve all conflicts, instead of avoiding them.
- If my brothers/sisters have hurt me in the past, or they hurt me in the future, I will forgive and love them unconditionally, just as Christ loves and forgives me.
- I will graciously accept the responsibility that my God chosen birth order demands.
- I will be mindful of how my words and my actions could be hurtful to my siblings, even though they may not be allowing their pain to show.
Hayden your presence alone changes the way people around you feel. You have a special gift to make others smile and your energy is contagious to those who are feeling down. Our vision for you is to continue to touch the hearts of all whom you come in contact with and inspire them.
Character traits we'd like to help you develop and strengthen?
- Friendliness, outgoing, energetic, funny, memorization, cheerful, strong willed, talkative,
Character traits to instill
- Patience, discipline,
What you say you love (potential purpose)
- Dance: you talk about having your own dance studio
- Fashion: you talk about designing dresses
- Pageants: you love modeling and posing for the camera
What you have been good at
- Pageants, modeling, acting, dance
Micah, you have such a heartwarming spirit. The manners you display puts a smile on every face around you. Our vision for you is to continue to be well-mannered teaching others through your actions how to be respectful.
Character traits we'd like to help you develop and strengthen?
- Politeness, caring, kind, apologetic, memorization, shy
Character traits to instill
- Patience, nice,
What you say you love/want to be (potential purpose)
What you have been good at
- Taking care of others
- In school you were always the teacher’s helper when it came to helping the other students.
Wife (If no wife, this will be where you put what you are looking for in a wife. Knowing your mission and the vision of where you are going is critical in knowing what you are looking for in a wife. You want to choose a wife that has the skills to help you achieve your mission and vision.)
Brit you are a strong woman. You have an incredible will to put your family first and you are a very had worker
Skills we'd like to help you strengthen and develop?
- Using your work ethic for the family business
- Public speaking
- Creativity: You are very creative in arts and crafts
Skills to instill
- Time management,
My mission is to be the foundation, the head of the family, and the spiritual leader and keep God first in all my actions. By doing that I will always keep my family’s best interest at heart. Strive daily to show my wife and kids appreciation. Be the provider that leaves and inheritance to my children’s children. Have my wife become my teammate as we conquer the world together as ambassadors of heaven that bring change to the earth.
As the father, the husband and foundation of my family my vision is to lead my family to financial independence. My vision is to create security for my family and the generations to come so that they will never have to work for someone else. My family will not have to work jobs just for money, but because they enjoy what they do, because they will be financially secure. My vision is to build a kingdom here on earth for my family to pass on generation after generation. I will seek the kingdom of God first and all things shall be added unto my family. I will do all these things because God’s word says, “A good man leaveth an inheritance to his children's children.”
Final Thoughts 1
If it's not adding to our lives it's taking away from our lives.
Do not expose the kids to things we would not want them to take part in. (Arguments, negative music, negative TV, TV all day)
Introduce them to the habits of successful people not mediocre people. Not what we grew up around. (Including: secrets of habits, reading, investments, savings, discipline, goal setting & achieving, communication, etc)
If we want what’s best for our kids we have to dedicate time so that we can become the example of what’s best
Encourage them to continue to ask questions but explain that mommy and daddy loves them. Sometimes we don’t have time to explain so they should listen because our love is only steering them in the right direction.